Five Songs

How It Would’ve Been Like If I Asked You to Stay 

1. Love Drought, Beyonce, Lemonade (2016)

You are my life line, but

you’re trying to kill me.

If it wasn’t me, would

you still feel me, like

on my worst day? Or am I 

not thirsty enough? 

Part of me knew it was coming. When I couldn’t tell you what’s on my mind, when I started feeling afraid of how you would react, when you, all of a sudden, stopped caring the way you used to, when you, without clarity, cut me off from your life. You lost faith in me, in us, and maybe, in yourself. I hung on throughout your absence, trying my hardest to understand your silence. I never stopped believing in how you showed me love and in your capacity to be kind. You didn’t need me, and I was there for you. You didn’t need me, and I held on because why would you take me in the first place if you wouldn’t want me in the end. I said I was believing in love. I know I believed too much. 

2. Don’t leave, Snakehips feat. MO, Single (2016)

You look at me,

I stare at you. I see

the doubt, but I see

the love I have and 

it’s all for you.

I once asked you to stay, and this, it wouldn’t have been the first. In both intances you were choosing yourself, and I know you hated the fact that I couldn’t do the same. I told you that in choosing us, I am choosing myself. Because I know you could make me happy. I thought you could be the one because you made me feel that you could be the one. You told me you wanted to be. I could not process you giving me up, I could not understand you being able to go through a day knowing that I was waiting for you, I could not accept how you could just fall out of love like that. But I hung on. You just needed time to be alone, to think things through, to get away.  I believed that you would come back.

3. Stay, Zedd feat. Alessia Cara, Single (2017)

I could give

a thousand reasons why,

but you’re going, and

you know that

all you have to do is 

stay a minute. Just

take your time.

I was thinking you could come around if you just wanted to. If you had faith in me and in yourself, there was nothing we couldn’t do. You could choose me because you can. For someone who’ve experienced so much rejection, so much lost before, and for someone who says he is in love, I wondered why you couldn’t just come around and stay. You did before, and we were great, why couldn’t we try again? Why couldn’t you stay? In the first place, why do you keep on leaving? 

4. Selfish, Future feat. Rihanna, HNDRXX (2017)

Let’s not be alone.

Let’s be one.

Empty thoughts fill the room.

Breathe for me and

I’ll breathe for you.  

I was never good at asserting the things that I want. I’ve never been given exactly what I wanted, and I learned to be okay with that, to appreciate what was handed to me, to work on it and make the best out of it. I know you hated mediocrity. I know you hated underperformance. You dislike stagnant places, and you, staying with me, were becoming one. You think neither of us was growing anymore. I wasn’t the kind of strong you needed to keep going. I knew the differences were the ones apparent to you.  While I am all hopes and faith about us. It would be so much hard work if you stayed. It would’ve been killing ourselves silently, and I know you couldn’t die for me. 

5. Communicate, The Dunwells, Light Up the Sky (2015)

We took these all for granted.

Should we leave this where

we walked? Please

communicate.

I would’ve fought. I would’ve asked you to stay. But we both know why I didn’t, and I’ll give it to myself that I shouldn’t. I couldn’t always pull you back whenever you leave me behind. Or maybe I was way ahead of you, and I couldn’t force you to be in the same direction as I am. We want the same things, but dream of different ways in getting them. Staying and having the things that we want wouldn’t be as satisfying as we expect it to be. I thought that you didn’t love me enough to fight for me and stay. But in your own way, you loved me just right to leave and to not let me accept the love I didn’t deserve.

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