Five Songs

How It’s Like To Fall In Love With the Idea of Loving Someone

It certainly is hopeful and sad at the same time. As you couldn’t help but feel that being in love with someone is twice as fun and beautiful as being alone and in love with yourself, it becomes so easy to see possibilities in people who warm your heart at simple instances. It becomes so easy to attach meaning to unrecognised gestures, to daydream about things beyond reality, and to believe that love, with the right amount of bliss and hard work, can conquer all. 

1. Boom Clap, Charli XCX, Sucker (2014)

“The sound of my heart,

the beat goes on and on and on.

You make me feel good,

Come on to me now”.

Maybe it begins as a simple crush on a new acquaintance or as a sudden realisation of how a friendship can turn into something more. Either way, you start to feel it in your chest, the so-called butterflies. As you replay every interaction, hang on to every word, and look forward to the next time you’ll see the person, it gets you so excited you can feel it in your bones. 

2. Heartlines, Broods, Conscious (2016) 

“I’ll pick you up at midnight, 

we’ll run to beat the sunlight.

We only get the one life, and

I want to feel your heartlines”. 

What gets you hoping is the chance that every new connection holds. A chance to create happiness with another person. A chance to care for someone else’s welfare as much as they care for yours. An opportunity to grow as an individual with someone safeguarding your heart. Someone, who with a life of his own, can also choose to choose you, over and over again, no matter what life throws at the both of you. You would want to keep fighting for one another as neither of you want the other to feel the pain you have experienced before. It is loving the way you want to be loved, hoping that both of you gets it right. 

3. All That, Carly Rae Jepsen, E•MO•TION (2015)

“I’ll be the magic you will ever see.

You can always rely on me 

to help you do what you want to do. 

I wanna be the best  you’ve ever known,

just let me in your arms”.

The truth is you just want to mean something, if not a lot, to someone. You know that in loving another you get more satisfaction in yourself. You know that with all the love that you had offered before and with all the love that you can still willingly offer after all, you long for a person who can finally give what you deserve. Someone who can commit as much as you do. Someone who will never stop trying. And it wouldn’t feel like a hopeless cause anymore as giving and taking go smoothly between the both of you. This is the truth about you, that somewhere inside you is some loneliness. And in hoping for this connection, you are embracing this truth. You are embracing who you are and what you need and what you hope to do. Love.  

4. WILD, Troye Sivan, Blue Neighbourhood (2015)

“You make my heart shake, 

bend and break, but

I can’t turn away, 

it’s driving me wild.

You’re driving me wild”. 

But as every idea always looks better in the head than in reality, holding on to your hope could either be rewarding or destructive in the end. With the uncertainty that comes with hope and with the truth that love is never always how you expect it to be, it is now up to you to take a risk or to stop while you are ahead. It can get so terrifying at this moment. If you fight for what you believe could be, you can get yourself bruised.. again. While if you choose to close yourself, the thought of having regrets can haunt you forever. You know that you’re not the type who turns away from the possibility of love without putting up an effort to see it through. You are never the type who can walk away so easily. And although that has been the cause of some minor scars in you, you have to know that there is courage in how you are. Your heart could be fragile and shallow at times, but the way it loves is deeper than any turbulent sea. You have to know you deserve the love that is in your head. And it can happen to you. Because you can make it happen for someone. 

5. Plans, Oh Wonder, Oh Wonder (2015)

“I’ve got plans to get to you,

you know. Don’t you know?

Gonna build a paper plane

to float to you. We’ll be 

scraping the skies with our fingertips, screaming,

‘This is the life, we were born for this”. 

I hope you never stop believing in love. No matter how many times you meet someone who you saw you could love but didn’t quite notice you back. You are worthy. Always worthy. I hope you hold on to who you are. No matter how many times you feel like you’re failing yourself, that you’re just wounding your heart. Please don’t let your romance die. Please keep on believing that there is nothing more beautiful than loving and being in love with another human. You’ll be walking this earth one day knowing that you never gave up on love. One day it’s not going to revert back to just an idea. You will meet someone as worthy as you, and the two of you will breathe life into everything you have ever dreamed of. Wait for it. It’s possible. 
Photography by vonmedeza.

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