Writing has always been a means for me to process things.
In the summer of 2014, UP (University of the Philippines) shifted their academic calender giving me and other Iskolars ng Bayan a four-month vacation break. I was transferring from another UP system (Los Baños), which kept me from enrolling for the Midyear term in June. Sad and at the height of separation anxiety from my life in Laguna, I could not enjoy what practically was a long-awaited chance to catch-up with my family, my high school friends, and my bed. Thinking about the new life I was about to experience in Diliman only makes me anxious; I had no idea how to prepare. I just knew that things wouldn’t be the same anymore.
After some nights, when I had already exhausted the movies saved in my computer, I resorted to listening to the newly released albums of some of my favorite artists at the time. It was the era of Sarah Bareilles’ The Blessed Unrest and Katy Perry’s Prism. I cannot remember which song from either of these two albums helped set the mood for the creation of my first poem since high school, but this is what I came up with:
I remember thinking about this crush I had on a friend in UPLB when I wrote this poem. I was just filled with heavy emotions that I didn’t even care if I was writing a legitimate poem. I just wanted to transform my feelings into something, to help me deal with them. Every night I would listen to my playlist, and when a particular idea or feeling striked me, I would open a Word file and write a poem. For the next three months, I was able to write 50 or more so poems, and came my first semester in Diliman, I enrolled in a CW 10 (Creative Writing for Beginners) class under Sir Paolo Marko Manalo. I remember being so in love with that class.
Almost three years later, I would say that my writing style has evolved from trying-to-fit-rhyming-words-together to a more experimental and reflective writing. Most of my pieces are about love. Actually, one way or another, all of my poems talk about love. Being a natural Extroverted Feeling that I am, writing has become my way of dissecting my emotions and dealing with my strong tendency for introspection. It could be just overthinking (and overfeeling) sometimes, but I take joy from whatever output I achieve.
Starting this blog is my way of sharing my processes to the world, in faith that telling my stories is an essential part of who I am and in hopes that my readers could take from these stories things that can inspire and help them in their own processes.
In life I always experience and see people trying to be Something; it’s beautiful, it’s hopeful, and it’s never easy. That is why in the rare occasions that we actually become Something, although it almost always never lasts, we remember these Sometimes in ways we can. To me, I make them last by writing about them, by keeping them in and through words. This is my process, and I have faith.