I turned 21 last 19th. I wonder how with older age my perception of love would change. It scares me a little as I’ve always had high expectations on Love. I am that wide-eyed girl who grew up daydreaming of a special love with the special man.
I easily attach myself to people, or to ideas of them. I’d like to think I am more careful now after all the heartaches I went through (or have put myself through). I have never experienced the love I’ve been dreaming of, and not to be pessimistic about it, but a part of me just awaits for when all my faith and excitement on an unconditional, romantic love would be put into rest. Not at all pessimistic, right.
But right now, as I can still feel and believe and hope and want to try, here are five songs that I dedicate to someone I would want to share love with. You may also listen to the songs in this Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/mimssylorne/playlist/6zSt2sv4B4cA3Vw2HITrmQ
1. Wild Love, James Bay, Single (2018)
I wanna give you wild love
The kind that never slows down
I wanna take you high up
Let our hearts be the only sound
I wanna go where the lights burn low and you’re only mine.
I don’t know how and when I’m going to see you. What version of me you are going to meet. I don’t know where would I be in my life when you will finally arrive, but as long as you’d fit in, I think that it will be all right.
I hope I could love you in ways I’ve imagined. I hope you would want me to. I hope everyday with you would be exciting not because of what we are doing or where we are going. But because just being with you takes me so high already. Just being with you is enough. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I would feel enough and loved. I would feel at home every time. You will be home.
2. Collide, Rachel Platten, Waves (2017)
I’m a stormy ocean,
but you’re steady
I’m like a commotion,
but you get me
Too many emotions, but you let me
Let me blossom in the dark
Turn the lights on, honey
Honey, I don’t wanna hide.
I wish I could say I’d be easy but I’m afraid I am not born to make life easier. I am complicated, I feel so very deeply, and I am either too much or too less of something. I might be the reason of the tough times we’d have together, and you could say I never really learn. Maybe I do have the tendency to push the limits of the people who claim to love me just to reassure me. I am sorry, but I will never stop trying. In that, you can rely on me.
I have loved you even before I met you, and I might not know how to show it properly. Be patient. All I’d be wanting is you. All I’ve ever wanted in life is to live simply loving someone who I can depend on. I hope that you’d learn not to take anything against me. I don’t deserve that. I can’t accept that.
3. Somebody Special, Nina Nesbitt, Single (2018)
I’ve been lonely way too long
I’ve been loving all the wrong kind
I’ve been falling in your arms
Feeling like I’m good here for life.
Am I pressuring you? I’ve been worrying I’d never find someone special. It’s a tough life. I don’t want to burden you with my past and with how I am. I think I’d just have to see if you would be up for everything that I am amd whether I would be up for everything that you are.
That would be so special. To be at the right time with someone right for you. How long? I don’t know. But try to be really there when we are finally there. Please do not be half-hearted, do not second-guess, and don’t let me be an afterthought. Walk fast, away from me, if you do.
4. Miss You, Gabrielle Aplin, Miss You-EP (2016)
Will you be my bestfriend?
Will you be my last?
I need somebody
who can love me like that.
I miss you so much. All my life. Things happened this way, and I’ve never felt the love I’ve been so readily giving away. I still need to learn so many things. I’m starting to feel tired and to give up. It has always been in my mind, and I’m so afraid you’d take it all against me; everything that I am and I am not. The love given to me has always been measured for what I can and can’t do. I’m afraid it’s what I’ve been doing to others, too. That’s fucked up. Maybe I need a divine intervention. I don’t know what would make me choose you. When I do, would all these be thrown away in the trash? Would my idea of love still feel the same? I’m so sorry. Let’s try to be better.
5. Last of the True Believers, Jessie Ware, Glasshouse (2017)
Let’s be alone together
where the sky falls through the river, the last of the true believers.
Let’s get lost forever.
Are you hearing me?
Are you listening?
Pick up on my prayers. I hope God leads us to one another. And I pray to be patient and to remain a believer until that day comes. I hope it would all feel worth it in the end. I wish to never fade. I hope one day it’s not only all in my head.
Took the photo from a travel account in Twitter I’ve forgotten. How lovely it is to roam this kind of streets.